Understanding how you handle stress and what is causing it can help inform decision-making and problem-solving in the future. You might find certain parts of life are disorganized and require extra attention to reduce the stress load.
Avoid family conflict.
Even the best families can drive you crazy. So this year, before you even pack your bags, spend some time thinking about the potential conflicts that will pop up with your family. If your dad has a pattern of talking bad about a particular group of people, don’t be surprised when he begins one of his rants. You can’t change him—but you do get to decide how you respond. You can ask him to stop, or you can get up and leave. Settle in your heart and your mind what you will and won’t tolerate. If you settle ahead of time on your chosen action it will be easier to follow through.
Create a plan of action and send an email ahead of time to make it clear that you don’t want to talk about politics or your little brother’s addiction. And if someone violates that agreement while you’re there, you get to walk out. Pay attention to when you feel uncomfortable, awkward, unsafe, embarrassed or trapped. If someone is drunk or angry or using foul language, you get to decide to walk away.
Know your role in the situation.
Sometimes we experience stress because we’re taking on roles no one asked us to carry. For example, if you’re going to your boyfriend’s house for Christmas and you have to sleep on the uncomfortable couch and eat their weird food, remember that you’re not the star of the show. It’s not your house. Keep your mouth shut and remember that your role is to support your partner.
And if you’re the one inviting your significant other to family dinner, be a gracious host or hostess. Remember that your guest is missing out on their traditions. Ask them about what they normally do or any special foods they like to eat and recognize they might be sad they’re missing out on time with their family.
Say no.
I love Christmas as much as the next person, but no matter who you are, it’s absurd to try to attend a million white elephant parties, ornament exchanges, and all the cookie decorating parties.
You can’t be everywhere at once. Be really honest with yourself about what you can handle, and speak up if it’s too much. Instead of going to five Christmas parties, pick one or two. Prioritize your family’s time and only commit to what you want to do. It’s all about quality, not quantity. Again, you get to choose.
In the end, stressing less is about developing a better relationship with yourself, accepting that situations can be stressful, and recognizing when you need to take a step back. With time and dedication, you can learn to be more accepting of situations that are out of your control and be better equipped to deal with them in a healthier way.
You will stress less when you set boundaries.
Over the holidays, you get to decide where you go, how long you stay there, who you invite into your home, and how much money you’ll spend. It might feel like your mom, father-in-law or second cousin will be calling the shots but you get to choose.
It’s important to set boundaries before you’re knee-deep in Christmas festivities. The last thing you want is to find yourself fighting about politics with your grandma or discussing vaccinations with your father-in-law. Without boundaries, everyone loses.
Before you commit to anything, decide what your limits are for traveling or for hosting guests. Is it three days? What about two weeks? If you’re married, talk to your spouse and create a plan that works for both of you.
By the way . . . don’t drive or fly thousands of miles to a place that’s inhospitable and threatening. You can say no. But once you decide and commit to seeing family, you must do it with a good attitude. Choose to find joy in the hard moments. Think of things that bring you joy to help you through.
Make a Christmas budget.
A budget is creating boundaries for your wallet and budgeting helps reduce stress because it gives you a plan for your money.
Remember, you get to control your thoughts and actions—including your spending. You get to decide where every single dollar in your bank account goes. Setting a budget for Christmas will help you avoid impulse purchases or spending too much on those white elephant gifts. There’s nothing worse than waking up the day after Christmas broke with no idea where your paycheck went. So make a budget and stick to it. You’ll be glad you did.
Focusing on what you can control will reduce stress.
There are only two things on planet Earth you can control: your thoughts and your actions. That’s it. You can’t control what your parents say around the dinner table. You can’t control your kids’ attitudes. And when you choose to let go of what you can’t control, you’ll automatically reduce the amount of stress in your life by refusing to carry other people’s problems.
In stressful seasons it can help to make a list of what is stressing you. Then write down the things that are in your control. Everything else gets tossed in the trash. Take control and ownership of your thoughts and actions and do what’s best for you and your family. Use your oils to help keep your emotions in check.
