In order to change our lives we have to change our thoughts, you may have heard the quote that our thoughts create our reality, or that thoughts are things or perception is reality; or another similar quote. Let's dig into what that means.
Our thoughts never stop, we can go days without food, hours without water and minutes without a breath but we cannot stop our thoughts. When you are sleeping you are dreaming, when you are awake you are thinking. We have anywhere from 60-80 thousand thoughts each day and many of them will be the same thoughts we had the day before. Many of us experience depression at some time in our lives, and what we do with that experience will make a difference in our future!
I am currently creating my dream life, and I want everyone to be able to live their dream life and I desire to help as many people as I can. I had what you would call a normal life; go to work, do your best, sleep, and repeat. Following the program without even realizing I could make a difference with my thoughts. Then about ten years ago I experienced a bout of depression. It began after my father had passed and everyone in the family was dealing with the situation as best as they could. Unfortunately, that left me isolated, and my sad thoughts took over, but today I am happy, healthy, and much wiser!
I had not thought about it until I started the healing process, but our minds and our brains are two different things. Our brain is an organ like our liver or stomach. Our brain simply does what our mind tells it to do and most of that direction comes from our subconscious mind which operates similarly to a computer program, it just runs, and we seldom think about how to breathe or digest our food it just happens.
We get our DNA from our parents, so our first programs are created without any input from us, but we are wonderfully created human beings who have the ability and power to change the programs, in fact, every day we are rewriting the programs with every new experience we have.
What thoughts do you have that are blocking you from your dream life?
Understanding how you handle stress and what is causing it can help inform decision-making and problem-solving in the future. You might find certain parts of life are disorganized and require extra attention to reduce the stress load.
Avoid family conflict.
Even the best families can drive you crazy. So this year, before you even pack your bags, spend some time thinking about the potential conflicts that will pop up with your family. If your dad has a pattern of talking bad about a particular group of people, don’t be surprised when he begins one of his rants. You can’t change him—but you do get to decide how you respond. You can ask him to stop, or you can get up and leave. Settle in your heart and your mind what you will and won’t tolerate. If you settle ahead of time on your chosen action it will be easier to follow through.
Create a plan of action and send an email ahead of time to make it clear that you don’t want to talk about politics or your little brother’s addiction. And if someone violates that agreement while you’re there, you get to walk out. Pay attention to when you feel uncomfortable, awkward, unsafe, embarrassed or trapped. If someone is drunk or angry or using foul language, you get to decide to walk away.
Know your role in the situation.
Sometimes we experience stress because we’re taking on roles no one asked us to carry. For example, if you’re going to your boyfriend’s house for Christmas and you have to sleep on the uncomfortable couch and eat their weird food, remember that you’re not the star of the show. It’s not your house. Keep your mouth shut and remember that your role is to support your partner.
And if you’re the one inviting your significant other to family dinner, be a gracious host or hostess. Remember that your guest is missing out on their traditions. Ask them about what they normally do or any special foods they like to eat and recognize they might be sad they’re missing out on time with their family.
Say no.
I love Christmas as much as the next person, but no matter who you are, it’s absurd to try to attend a million white elephant parties, ornament exchanges, and all the cookie decorating parties.
You can’t be everywhere at once. Be really honest with yourself about what you can handle, and speak up if it’s too much. Instead of going to five Christmas parties, pick one or two. Prioritize your family’s time and only commit to what you want to do. It’s all about quality, not quantity. Again, you get to choose.
In the end, stressing less is about developing a better relationship with yourself, accepting that situations can be stressful, and recognizing when you need to take a step back. With time and dedication, you can learn to be more accepting of situations that are out of your control and be better equipped to deal with them in a healthier way.
